guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
