I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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