that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
