9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
