We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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