Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
