we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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