What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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