I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
