Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
