Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
