One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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