ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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