worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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