redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
