Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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