Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just had sex bonerless
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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