Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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