Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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