yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
