Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
