did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Too much gin, very little bucket
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
