what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So vagazzling was a success
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
