We're like a lot better than the average bears
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
