what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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