This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
