Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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