I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Vodka?
Forever.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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