DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
