You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
