Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
