Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
