he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
it's great music for shaving your balls
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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