Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
