so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
