She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
