Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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