So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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