took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
