mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
