Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
