He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
