Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
