i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
