doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
