shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
