Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
