Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
