garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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