but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
