Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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