just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
