And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
